Humor

Video – Anyone Want to Adopt Pinky the CAT!

Jeff

Let’s paraphrase Robert Burns and put this under the category of “The best laid schemes o’ mice an’ men often go astray.”

Nobody likes to see animals in shelters especially if those shelters can not house these former pets or strays indefinitely. We can all identify with people who create videos to help find these pets a new, loving home. There are times, however, when the animals themselves are working at odds to that goal.

Enter Pinky the cat...

UP-itty

Jeff

It’s easy to understand UP, meaning toward the sky or at the top of the list, but when we awaken in the morning, why do we wake UP?

At a meeting, why does a topic come UP?

Why do we speak UP and why are the officers UP for election and why is it UP to the secretary to write UP a report?

We call UP our friends.

And we use it to brighten UP a room, polish UP the silver; we warm UP the leftovers and clean UP the kitchen.

We lock UP the house and some guys fix UP the old car.

At other times the little word has real special meaning:

People stir UP trouble, line UP for tickets, work UP an appetite, and think UP excuses.

To be dressed is one thing, but to be dressed UP is special.

A drain must be opened UP because it is stopped UP.

We open UP a store in the morning but we close it UP at night.

We seem to be pretty mixed UP about UP!

To be knowledgeable about the proper uses of UP, look the word UP in the dictionary.

In a desk-sized dictionary, it takes UP almost 1/4th of the page and can add UP to about thirty definitions.

If you are UP to it, you might try building UP a list of the many ways UP is used.

It will take UP a lot of your time, but if you don’t give UP, you may wind UP with a hundred or more

When it threatens to rain, we say it is clouding UP.

When the sun comes out we say it is clearing UP.

When it rains, it wets the earth and often messes things UP.

When it doesn’t rain for awhile, things dry UP.

One could go on and on, but I’ll wrap it UP, for now my time is UP,
so…….it is time to shut UP!

Now it’s UP to you what you do with this email.

A Slam Bam Reply to Spam

Jeff

This is a tongue-in-cheek monologue about what might happen when a snarky techie replies to a spam email. He gives the spammers a run for the money.

NOTE: Some NSFW statements and inbuendo (IMHO)

As outlined on the TED Talk website:

James Veitch: This is what happens when you reply to spam email

Suspicious emails: unclaimed insurance bonds, diamond-encrusted safe deposit boxes, close friends marooned in a foreign country. They pop up in our inboxes, and standard procedure is to delete on sight. But what happens when you reply? Follow along as writer and comedian James Veitch narrates a hilarious, weeks-long exchange with a spammer who offered to cut him in on a hot deal.”

Via

Scaredy Cats … It’s a Cucumber – Surprise

Jeff

Apparently cats are terribly afraid of cucumbers. The video below shows cats being surprised and/or scared by finding one so close to them. According to a recent article on Gizmodo, my source for this video, some knowledgeable “cat people” feel that scaring your cat this way may cause psychological damage. Anyone who has ever owned a cat understands that cats don’t need any further assistance in this area! So…pet owners beware – Don’t Try This At Home!

NOTE – All of the cats in the video are scared while eating or drinking. Could this be related to scaredy-catness; i.e. The Hunger Games?

English Anguish

Jeff

I don’t declare that I am a grammar expert and I do have to look up certain grammar rules from time-to-time. The difference is that I take that extra step and do the research.

I am not an official member of the grammar police even though there are certain violations of English grammar rules that annoy me.

The proper use of then and than, the differences between two, two and too and of course…

 

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Via

are most disconcerting!

Many people are confused about when to use commas, but as you can see (below) it is even more confusing when they are not used.

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Via

Credit where credit is due. Even though JBRish is pleased to present the above as infotainment, it is not original to us. These were originally presented as part of a BuzzFeed post. You can see all of their grammar gift recommendations by clicking here:

Words Worth – 20151102 (Epitaphs)

Jeff

From time-to-time JBRish will post items under the heading of Words Worth that demonstrate the quirkiness, humor, beauty and flexibility of the English language.

To initiate this category of posts, what could be more fitting on the heels of Halloween than to present interesting epitaphs that are punny, witty or just plain humorous? I cannot verify that these are valid, but I think you will agree that they are indeed clever.

 
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Harry Edsel Smith of Albany, New York:
Born 1903–Died 1942.

Looked up the elevator shaft to see if the
car was on the way down. It was.

 
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In a Thurmont, Maryland:

Here lies an Atheist, all dressed up
and no place to go.

 
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East Dalhousie, Nova Scotia:

Here lies Ezekial Aikle, Age 102.
Only the good die young.

 
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London, England:

Here lies Ann Mann, who lived an old maid
but died an old Mann. Dec. 8, 1767

 
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Ribbesford, England:

The children of Israel wanted bread,
And the Lord sent them manna.
Clark Wallace wanted a wife,
And the Devil sent him Anna.

 
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Ruidoso, New Mexico:

Here lies Johnny Yeast.
Pardon him for not rising.

 
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Uniontown, Pennsylvania:

Here lies the body of Jonathan Blake,
Stepped on the gas instead of the brake.

 
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Silver City, Nevada:

Here lays The Kid,
We planted him raw.
He was quick on the trigger,
But slow on the draw.

 
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England:

Sir John Strange.
Here lies an honest lawyer,
and that is Strange.

 
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Wimborne, England (John Penny’s Grave):

Reader, if cash thou art in want of any,
Dig 6 feet deep and thou wilt find a Penny.

 
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Hartscombe, England:

On the 22nd of June,
Jonathan Fiddle went out of tune.

 
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Enosburg Falls, Vermont:

Here lies the body of our Anna,
Done to death by a banana.
It wasn’t the fruit that laid her low,
But the skin of the thing that made her go.

 
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Nantucket, Massachusetts:

Under the sod and under the trees,
Lies the body of Jonathan Pease.
He is not here, there’s only the pod,
Pease shelled out and went to God.

 
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England:

Remember man, as you walk by,
As you are now, so once was I.
As I am now, so shall you be,
Remember this and follow me.

To which someone replied by writing on the tombstone:

To follow you I’ll not consent,
Until I know which way you went.