funny

STATUS QUOtes — 20160519

Jeff

“When the axe came into the woods, many of the trees said, ‘At least the handle is one of us.'” — Turkish Proverb

“Every defeat, every heartbreak, every loss, contains its own seed, its own lesson on how to improve your performance the next time.” — Malcolm X

“Don’t be satisfied with stories, how things have gone with others. Unfold your own myth.” — Rumi

“The nice thing about standards is that there are so many of them to choose from.” — Andrew S. Tanenbaum

 

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STATUS QUOtes — 20160518

Jeff

“After the ship has sunk, everyone knows how she might have been saved.” — Italian Proverb

“Son, your ego’s writing checks your body can’t cash.” — From the movie Top Gun

“It might have been done before, but it hasn’t been done by you!” — Elizabeth Gilbert

“Before borrowing money from a friend, decide which you need most.” — Addison H. Hallock

 

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STATUS QUOtes — 20160517

Jeff

“A good example is like a bell that calls many to church.” — Danish Proverb

“We are all searching for someone whose demons play well with ours.” — Heidi R. Kling

“Gold gives the appearance of beauty even to ugliness; but everything becomes frightful with poverty.” — Boileau

“It took me fifteen years to discover that I had no talent for writing, but I couldn’t give it up because by that time I was too famous.” — Robert Benchley

 

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STATUS QUOtes — 20160508 (Delayed)

Jeff

“A mother’s arms are made of tenderness and children sleep soundly in them.” — Victor Hugo

“Comedy is tragedy plus time!” — Alan Alda

“Men are not against you; they are merely for themselves.” — Gene Fowler

“Please don’t ask me what the score is, I’m not even sure what the game is.” — Ashleigh Brilliant

 

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STATUS QUOtes — 20160516

Jeff

“Journalism is literature in a hurry.” — Matthew Arnold

“I would break my back for the ones I love, but how many would push the wheelchair for me after?” — Unknown

“The unexamined life is not worth living.” — Socrates

“They were the kind of people who climbed the ladder of success wrong by wrong. [ed]” — Mae West

 

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STATUS QUOtes — 20160515

Jeff

“Actions are destiny’s pen.” — Grenville Kleiser, Dictionary of Proverbs

“For good or ill, your conversation is your advertisement. Every time you open your mouth you let men look into your mind.” — Bruce Burton

“I have always a sacred veneration for anyone I observe to be a little out of repair in his person, as supposing him either a poet or a philosopher.” — Jonathan Swift

“A long time ago I learned not to explain things to people. It misleads them into thinking they’re entitled to know everything I do.” — Lisa Kleypas, Dreaming of You

 

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Words Worth – PUN-ishment 20160514

Jeff

pun; (noun)

“a joke exploiting the different possible meanings of a word or the fact that there are words that sound alike but have different meanings.”**

**https://www.google.com/#q=define+pun

At JBRIsh, which really is not gibberish, we enjoy a good pun as much as anyone and perhaps a bit more. Our readers, friends and others send them to us all the time. I thought it was about time that we shared those puns which we find most amusing. Of course your mileage may vary, but we do hope at least some of them bring a smile to your face. A good pun is a gem, but one that is not so good is just PUN-ishment!

 

  • No matter how much you push the envelope, it’ll still be stationery.

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  • Atheism is a non-prophet organization.

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  • Two hats were hanging on a hat rack in the hallway. One hat said to the other: ‘You stay here; I’ll go on a head.’

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  • A backward poet writes inverse.

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  • There was the person who sent ten puns to friends, with the hope that at least one of the puns would make them laugh. No pun in ten did.

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Do you have a favorite pun or a real groaner? If so, send it along in the comment section and perhaps it will make our most appreciated list!

 

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STATUS QUOtes — 20160514

Jeff

“A book tightly shut is but a block of paper.” — Chinese Proverb

“It is not advisable to venture unsolicited opinions. You should spare yourself the embarrassing discovery of their exact value to your listener. [ed]” — Ayn Rand

“If indeed you must be candid, be candid beautifully.” — Kahlil Gibran

“I’m not overweight, I’m just easy to see.” — Unknown

 

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STATUS QUOtes — 20160513

Jeff

“All the flowers of all the tomorrows are in the seeds of today.” — Indian Proverb

“Looking forward to things is half the pleasure of them. You mayn’t get the things themselves; but nothing can prevent you from having the fun of looking forward to them.” — L. M. Montgomery

“Let the blood and the bruises define your legacy.” — Lady Gaga

“I think, therefore I am. I think.” — George Carlin

 

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STATUS QUOtes — 20160512

Jeff

“The secret to living well and longer is: eat half, walk double, laugh triple, and love without measure.” — Tibetan Proverb

“Every single day, in every walk of life, ordinary people do extraordinary things.” — Jim Valvano

“The worst of our faults is our interest in other people’s faults.” — Ali Ibn Abi Talib

“Tell a man there are 300 billion stars in the universe and he’ll believe you; tell him a bench has wet paint on it and he’ll have to touch it to be sure.” — Unknown

 

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